Thinking Traps: How to Unsnare Yourself

Your head fills with them every day without fail: some good, some kind, some neutral—and some of them are just plain brutal. We're talking about your thoughts.

Here are a few (recognize any?):

If only I were more organized life would be easier.

I wish I were 20 pounds lighter.

If I had more money, things would be different.

Why can't I eat better?

What's wrong with me?

Why can't I sleep?

Why aren't I as successful as she is?

Your thoughts are quite often the enemy: They get in your way, they talk you down, they blame and shame and denigrate you. They make you frantic, tired, worried, and restless. In short, they're the reason you're more stressed than you need to be.

Why Are Our Thoughts a Problem?

Our research has shown us that the way you think about and perceive the world around you has far more to do with how resilient you are to stress—over and above childhood experiences, financial issues, you name it.

At meQuilibrium, we have a name for what keeps us stuck in stressful patterns: thinking traps. Until you can identify the trap you will remain snagged in it, making it harder for you to perceive situations clearly. When you can identify your own go-to method for processing information, you can free yourself from stress-inducing thought patterns.

The 7 Thinking Traps

Which ones ring familiar to you?

Thinking Trap: Maximizing or Minimizing

What it is: Maximizing the bad and minimizing the good to let the negative take over and define a situation and your outlook

What is sounds like: "I didn't get my way on that issue—this relationship will never work out."

Thinking Trap: Personalizing

What it is: Instinctively blaming yourself when things go wrong.

What is sounds like: “It's probably my fault. I'm such an idiot."

Thinking Trap: Externalizing

What it is: Instinctively blaming others or circumstances when something goes wrong.

What is sounds like: "I know it's her fault. She's always messing things up for me."

Thinking Trap: Overgeneralizing

What it is: Taking one piece of information and making a general rule about the world, another person, or yourself without evidence to support your findings.

What is sounds like: "She hates me. I know it."

Thinking Trap: Emotional Reasoning

What it is: Using changes in your emotions to tell you something about your world

What is sounds like: "I feel sad. Everything must be going wrong in my life."

Thinking Trap: Pessimism

What it is: Exaggerating the negative impact of an event

What is sounds like: "This will ruin my career."

Thinking Trap: Mind Reading

What it is: Expecting others to know what you’re thinking without having to tell them

What is sounds like: "I have a lot going on right now; he should know I don’t need this kind of conflict from him."